I recently attended the wedding of my friend Vanessa. It was a beautiful church ceremony, and theirs' is the best sort of marriage- one with God at the center. Catching up over coffee, we got to talking about the challenges they experienced in courting and what she's learned in the early months of marriage. One of the things she said that greatly resonated with me is that people too often get caught up in the idea of marriage without really taking into consideration that it's hard work and communication, but love is worth it.
This gets me thinking about the qualities that are important when it comes to a lasting union. What can we learn from the Bible about love?Corinthians tells us that, "Love is patient and kind." Patience in life is a virtue but Paul lists it as one of the first virtues of love. Consistent work and appreciation is necessary in a relationship. Seeing beyond a person's, acting with tolerance and acceptance of your significant other is vitally important to growing a successful relationship. Paul also uses the word "kind" as a descriptor. Jesus teaches us the perfect model of kindness. To act with selflessness, and put the needs of someone else ahead of our own.
"It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud." I remember in a college psychology course the professor said that pride had no place in love. That always stuck with me. Love is about approaching each other with humility and humbleness- virtues that are also consistent within the Bible. No one wants to be vulnerable and pride is a defense mechanism. But the things on the other side of emotional risk are the best things. Love comes to you when we are able to be vulnerable. Able to admit we're wrong, able to reach out when we miss someone...
"It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."
Likewise anger also has no place in love. This ties in with patience, and pride. Communication and understanding trump petty disagreements. Love means being the bigger person, forgiving and forgetting. Our significant others should challenge us to be the best people we can be.
"Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
God tells us to love, and when we love we should use His example, and give of ourselves with the same selflessness and sacrifice He showed Jesus on the cross. When we love in God’s way we reap the greatest rewards. As it says in Proverbs 18:22- "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD."
"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."